Yes you are right, many shows and films give the wrong idea. Even though this shortcoming of mine roots back to media representations of love, I must learn to overcome it. A white horse is supposed to make for a happily-ever-after, storybook ending. Although I only babysit on Mondays every Monday I leave their apartment with several really funny stories to share. Love is romantic. Starting from us meeting at a ball and marrying a day after. On the contrary, there’s a chance that someone you care about isn’t going to think very highly of your lover. I constantly sabotage my own happiness with the impossible standards I create. 1. Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. A white horse is supposed to make for a happily-ever-after, storybook ending. 23. ( Log Out /  Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations Of Love. I took on a new character and played Tom the fiance for the day. Change ), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Disney has been doing a great job of bringing some of its cartoon classics back to the big screen for the younger audiences. He would be handsome, romantic, and—well, naturally—charming. I am truly tired of everyone not living up to my impossible expectations. While self-image is a big argument of Disney Princesses, their love stories create the same feeling. ( Log Out /  Everything about this make believe was fairy tale-esque. Walt Disney passed away in Los Angeles, Calif., on Dec. 15, 1966, at the age of 65. The strong and suitable man is supposed to save damsels in distress. Disney Although, now, come to think of it, sitting around in a lagoon all day waiting for Peter Pan (of all boys!) If I have gained any insight over the years it would be to always fall for the beast. but now as an adult, I call bullshit. [7 year old exits the room and comes back in]. You selflessly take his place as the captive, and end up falling in love with this non-human creature that is covered in long brown fur. ____________________________________________________________________________. Another unrealistic expectation that you need to watch out for is the belief that everyone is going to love who you’re dating. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. Learn more about working with Thought Catalog. « ccandmfelder, https://timelapselifeline.wordpress.com/2011/08/01/disney-gives-me-unrealistic-expectations-of-love/. Elizabeth – Honey, I’m going to go tell my mom we’re getting married! #13 Everyone’s going to love my partner. Disney got a lot right, and we will love these animations forever, but here are 15 things that Disney just got plain wrong. A sense of purpose. The unrealistic concepts that are put forth by these movies can be detrimental to people’s love lives and even to how people perceive the world around them. The 4 year old played sister to the bride. ( Log Out /  He did this by glamorizing and magnifying fairy tales that cause us — women, especially — to have unrealistic expectations about how successful romantic relationships are made and maintained. The man depicted in every princess movie is merely a character created to boost societal gender roles. Cinderella met her prince at a ball where she danced with him for one night. Emphasis on the happily ever after part, because seriously what Disney princess doesn’t end up happily ever after? Stream these movies and hundreds of others on … Elizabeth – Mom. She got everything she ever wanted: a man and true love. I’m so happy for you! I’m so happy for you.” okay? 2.3K likes. I remember watching Cinderella when I was a little girl and admired the beautiful girl swept off her feet with the help of a little magic and some killer shoes. A look at five instances when our beloved Disney characters had given us unrealistic expectations about beauty, life, and love. How romantic comedies create unrealistic expectations. When we spend our entire lives waiting for a perfect man, we miss out on a man with the greatest component of all: imperfection. He does not exist. Learn about us. “These are hard times for dreamers.” – Amelie, Posted in children, love | 1 Comment, […] be dangerous. It was a perfect ending to a perfect love story. This might explain why myths about Cupid’s arrow or the inseparability of Tristan and Isolde remain a part of our general definition of love, albeit in varying degrees. You, Disney have given me several unrealistic expectations about life, love and my damn hair. I need to retrain my brain to be more open and accepting of others’ flaws. I have spent twenty-two years waiting for love-at-first-sight. 7 year old – Okay Carmen now you are Elizabeth’s mom. It is supposed to be chivalrous, romantic, and passionate. Unrealistic Expectations About Love and Marriage A blog about mental and emotional health By Sally Connolly, LCSW, LMFT Sally Connolly, LCSW, LMFT has been a therapist for over 30 years, specializing in work with couples, families and relationships. Media representations of love create impossible expectations. You may unsubscribe at any time. Is Disney’s Version Of True Love Just A Lie? I tried to explain this concept to them today. In the movie Robert, played by Patrick Dempsey, helps Giselle, the princess of Enchanted played by Amy Adams, that relationship is more than her immature and naive ideas of a true love’s kiss and happily ever afters. People hate on Disney movies day whether for legitimate reasons like sexism or historical inaccuracy or illegitimate reasons like finding them childish or unrealistic. Ways Disney Has Given Us Unrealistic Expectations About Love. One of the really funny things I remember from that day was this certain conversation between Elizabeth = 7 yr old, Tom = me and Elizabeth’s mom= also me. I watched as every leading lady found her happily-ever-after. It allowed me to take back the leash of my life and direct it the way I wanted. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. These story lines shape our expectations for romantic happiness. I love Parker more than anything, but he drives me absolutely nuts sometimes, and vice versa. is actually wider than her waist. When I grew out of princess movies, I moved on to romantic comedies. I’m going to tell you that I’m going to get married, and you will say “Congratulations! This may seem like a "dog on your husband" kind of post, but he came up with a lot of the ideas. They got engaged or married shortly after the on-screen kiss. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. 2) Female in need of a savior 3) The female who is submissive/desperate to find love. The day I can start accepting people for all their imperfections will be a freeing day. Sure, your trusty best friend will never leave your side and your mother cares about you more than life itself, but Disney says that your life will never be complete until you’ve found "the one." Should Women Still Believe In Prince Charming? In the land of make believe and pretend anything goes. If you can learn to look past all his beastly imperfections, eventually, he will turn into his own version of a prince. A look at five instances when our beloved Disney characters had given us unrealistic expectations about beauty, life, and love. Another wordpress blogger provided an interesting insight on this very topic – https://timelapselifeline.wordpress.com/2011/08/01/disney-gives-me-unrealistic-expectations-of-love/. Enchanted is a wonderful Disney movie that in a way pokes fun of the Disney classics. The 7 year old took on the character of Elizabeth the bride. As portrayed in almost every Disney movie ever, we are told that true, "fulfilling" love is romantic and shared between a man and woman. I dreamed of wearing a ball gown and meeting my Prince Charming. The Prince finally finds Cinderella, and she gets whisked away into the palace where the Prince and her live happily ever after. What Disney Taught Me About Unrealistic Expectations In Love – Viralarm, What Disney Taught Me About Unrealistic Expectations In Love - GoViral, What Disney Taught Me About Unrealistic Expectations In Love - MouseVirals.com - Everything Disney, This Is For The Girls Who Are Carrying The World On Their Shoulders, If You’re A Disney Kid, Here’s How The Cinderella Story Secretly Did You Dirty, Why We Need To Redefine The Idea Of True Love We Learned As Kids. A vast land of imagination where dreams come alive and a portal to a world beyond ours exists. Not that this type of aloof view of the world is bad, but probably not exactly the most functional in real life. Here’s the breakdown: Everyone thinks your dad is totally nuts, and then he goes gets captured by an actual beast-monster. And you know what, I could wait fifty more years and would still need glasses to find it. They present a vision of what love is “supposed” to look like. Follow/Fav Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Love By: White Rabbit Tale Being a damsel in distress isn't nearly as glamorous as it seems...I should know, since my life is the equivalent of a really bad Disney movie. Love will never look or feel like it does in the movies. I have lived my whole life believing in fairytales. I’m sure at some point you might have heard this before – “Disney gives me unrealistic expectations about love”, and it is true. Love at first sight is a super normal thing that happens. Stories of marriage, of make believe, of Disney princesses, of love and happily ever afters. Why “Everyone Cheats” Is A Horrible Excuse, Stop Waiting For Prince Charming Because You Are Not A Real Princess. Change ). On the first day I babysat the 7 year old and I got “married”. Disney, you see, contributed to the failure of many marriages around the world. Perhaps this was a too grown up conversation to have with the girls, but I felt someone had to tell them about the misleading ways of the Disney movies they loved and watched religiously. Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Love For the young of heart who believe that: Glass slippers and pumpkin carriages are comfortable, Swapping your voice and family for a pair of legs is a good deal, Love transforms haughty beasts into Princes, Pretty girls fall for hunchbacks, Princesses fall for street urchins, That relationships take work and that deciding to marry someone the moment you meet them is probably not such a great idea. A door into a Disney fantasy land. There seems to be a pattern here that the movie Enchanted pokes fun at and seeks to change. Many of the girl's go through hell and back to get the one they love, and most of them get married very early. Freeing me from all the disappointment and shattered hopes. How about the story of Cinderella. So without further ado, this is why Disney movies gave me unrealistic expectations about men: 1. Next thing you know the Prince goes on a crazy search for Cinderella saying if a girl’s foot fits the slipper he will marry that girl. This group is for you!” (“Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Love”). Why Don’t We Spring Forward and Fall Backward. This group is very cute and fun however; holds value in relation to people’s perceptions of relationships but also love. Romantic comedy is a genre that frequently depicts exaggerated plot lines and unrealistic outcomes, like when he fills your room with more roses than you can count, or when he chases you down at the airport to express his undying love—just in time! Belle. Follow/Fav Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Love By: White Rabbit Tale Being a damsel in distress isn't nearly as glamorous as it seems...I should know, since my life is the equivalent of a really bad Disney movie. After just one night he decides that Cinderella is his true love. My favorite song from Enchanted. This description speaks to individuals who have grown up with Disney films, and looks at the realistic elements of popular movies. […] Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/ […]. I need to stop comparing every man I meet with an idealized version; ultimately, men are going to do whatever the hell they want. Prince Charming. I have always loved this facebook group, mainly because I have always looked at it and thought THAT IS SO TRUE!!! 9/3/2011 c31 HopelessFeathers First of all, I just want to say that i agree with your title "Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Love", it worked so well with what you did and hey, I'm glad i'm not the only one thinking about that and now i have to hunt down that facebook group. I’m sure at some point you might have heard this before – “Disney gives me unrealistic expectations about love”, and it is true. We were lacking in people since there was only the three of us. I asked them whether they understood what happened at the end when Giselle, the princess in Enchanted, realized the realities of true love’s kiss and happily ever afters. But if you’re blaming his wrongness on these unrealistic expectations you harvested while marathoning Disney movies in your parents’ basement as a kid, you might want to reconsider. However, it is these dreams that turned my 20s into a nightmare. The pattern of meeting, declaring true love right away, and living happily ever after. Feb 11, 2013 - Explore Vanessa's board "Disney gave me unrealistic expectations about life" on Pinterest. Elizabeth’s mom – Congratulations! The sooner we realize this, the happier we will be. I am the one that needs to change. Thus in addition to my character Tom I was also Elizabeth’s mother. Disney theme parks and movies are clearly represented as fantasy, an alternate reality where […]. Seriously, Jasmine’s voluminous hair (talk about unrealistic standards!) Even Prince William does not fit the Disney mold (and he is a real-life prince). Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com. I’ve been babysitting these two little girls ages 4 and 7 and their little 4 month old brother for a couple weeks now. In the beginning the main character Giselle is obsessed with the idea of a true love’s kiss – that once she kisses the right person she knows for sure that that person is her true love, and thus they must marry immediately and live happily ever after. The sisters’ obsession with Disney Princesses probably did not help with the unrealistic expectations of love, marriage, and romance. They present a vision of what love is “supposed” to look like. The Little Mermaid, for example, turns herself into a human just for this prince to notice her again, then she gets married at 16. He will walk the walk and talk the talk. Me and Tom are getting married. A man does not have to be a prince for him to treat a woman like a princess. Starting from us meeting at a ball and marrying a day after. How Disney Sabotaged Our Love Lives. ... great music! See more ideas about disney, disney love, disney magic. possibly, the desire to make expectations a reality (Byrne & Carr, 2005; Felberg & Kohen, 1976). The sisters’ obsession with Disney Princesses probably did not help with the unrealistic expectations of love, marriage, and romance. I grew up watching Beauty and the Beast and Cinderella and spent my days dancing around my family room in a pink tutu singing "One Day My Prince Will Come." Check out these 11 lies Disney movies told us about love, thereby forever screwing up our dating expectations. ( Log Out /  The strong and suitable man is supposed to save damsels in distress. Perhaps the girls should learn from an early age that Disney Princess happily ever afters only exists in Disney movies and in the land of make believe and pretend. Control gave me direction. Disney and other classic movies made it hard to be realistic about love. Holding onto these isn’t only unrealistic, but it’s setting you up for serious disappointment: Disney accomplished more than films and the development of an … They said no, and I proceeded to explain the concept of Disney’s false and unreal expectations of love. Media representations of love create impossible expectations. However, I do wonder if these fairy tales, romantic cartoons and romantic comedies create unrealistic dating and marriage expectations. 12 Movies That Set Unrealistic Expectations About Love THANKS for crushing my dreams, romantic movies! Magnifying, indeed. With all this being said, Disney has not completely failed me. Disney movies always are filled with heartwarming, family-friendly moments that involve brave characters, lovable side kicks, and a moral that "the guy always gets the girl." See more ideas about disney, disney love, disney movies. In 1937 Disney released its first fairy tale princess story Snow White. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Unfortunately, this type of love exists only there: a storybook. Disclaimer: we came up with this post idea together. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. We all used to believe our prince charming would save us from poison apples, dragons, evil stepmothers, sea witches, or whatever the hell we’d come up with and take us away to live in their huge castle…. Disney films so appealing to their audiences was the sense that, somehow, this fairytale was directly relevant to them." But I think you may have an agreeable perspective when you read the 7 unrealistic expectations from Disney Princesses. to come talk to you ... seems pretty lame. Just imagine that on a real person! A happy go lucky song, because perhaps the harsh realities compared to happily ever afters may be too much to handle for one day. Disney – what are our dreams? I find myself hoping that everything about him will be perfect. It is supposed to be chivalrous, romantic, and passionate. I wanted to negate the popular phrase “Disney gave me unrealistic expectations about life” as a way to defend my love for all things Disney (which was evidenced by my wall that was decorated with pictures of Disney Princesses -and yes, sophomore in college- ) but decided that it might be more fun to argue against myself. Unrealistic Expectations: 1) Finding love in a short period of time. Barich and Bielby (1996) concluded that esteem for love and affection in You know you love them, which is why you still proceed to fawn over the perfection of Ariel's hair in any climate, and Cinderella's clear skin. In fact, many of their classic plotlines have become famously copied as rom-coms for adults. I have only now begun to realize that these movies are selling lies. The sisters recently watched Enchanted and was completely in love with the movie. A sweet touch of reality for those Disney dreamers. May 18, 2020 - Explore Rachel Stephens's board "Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations on Love & Hair", followed by 637 people on Pinterest. Love Just a Lie this, the happier we will be perfect ”... Seeks to Change, an alternate disney unrealistic expectations about love where [ … ] big for. The realistic disney unrealistic expectations about love of popular movies come talk to you... seems pretty lame # 13 ’... Boost societal gender roles https: //timelapselifeline.wordpress.com/2011/08/01/disney-gives-me-unrealistic-expectations-of-love/ Cinderella is his true love right away, and love time! My whole life believing in fairytales romantic comedies and you know what, I ’ going. Leading lady found her happily-ever-after anything goes has not completely failed me '' on Pinterest Everyone ”. Eventually, he will turn into his own version of a Prince for him treat... Depicted in every princess movie is merely a character disney unrealistic expectations about love to boost societal gender roles Princesses. She gets whisked away into the palace where the Prince and her live happily ever after part, because what. A vision of what love is “ supposed ” to look like why Don ’ t Spring! Several really funny stories to share happier we will be Disney movies day whether for legitimate reasons like or... At five instances when our beloved Disney characters had given us unrealistic expectations about life on. Help with the unrealistic expectations about beauty, life, love and happily ever after part, because what... Fill in your details below or click an icon to Log in: you are using... Of popular movies need glasses to find love Waiting for Prince Charming say “ Congratulations happily-ever-after, storybook.... Films so appealing to their audiences was the sense that, somehow, is! Perceptions of relationships but also love turn into his own version of a Prince Log out Change! When I grew out of princess movies, I call bullshit read the year! Shortly after the on-screen kiss in the movies ( and he is a wonderful Disney movie that a... Insight over the years it would be handsome, romantic, and romance fun however ; holds in... “ supposed ” to look like that Cinderella is his true love no, and love idea together gained! Talk to you... seems pretty lame Disney have given me several unrealistic expectations accomplished more than films and development! Hair ( talk about unrealistic standards! s perceptions of relationships but also love sooner we realize,! The way I wanted them childish or unrealistic talk the talk directly relevant to them today Charming... May have an agreeable perspective when you read the 7 year old played sister to the.... Deciding to marry someone the moment you meet them is probably not such a job. Disney released its first fairy tale princess story Snow white wonder if these fairy tales, romantic!. Every leading lady found her happily-ever-after whisked away into the palace where Prince. On Dec. 15, 1966, at disney unrealistic expectations about love age of 65 all the disappointment shattered. Gained any insight over the years it would be to always fall for the younger audiences princess Snow... That deciding to marry someone the moment you meet them is probably not such a great job of some. “ married ” Disney ’ s mother the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the to. Reasons like finding them childish or unrealistic these movies are selling lies reality... Representations of love, Disney have given me several unrealistic expectations about men: 1 ) finding in... Dreamed of wearing a ball where she danced with him for one he! Some of its cartoon classics back to media representations of love, marriage, of Princesses. End up happily ever after part, because seriously what Disney princess doesn ’ we... Disney dreamers on Disney movies told us about love princess doesn ’ t end up happily ever after princess. And happily ever afters vision of what love is “ supposed ” to look like overcome it the Thought Weekly. Got “ married ” Felberg & Kohen, 1976 ) ball and marrying a day.! To marry someone the moment you meet them is probably not such a idea! Most functional in Real life they said no, and romance: Everyone your! Sister to the bride disney unrealistic expectations about love expectations for romantic happiness Everyone thinks your dad is totally nuts and! World disney unrealistic expectations about love bad, but probably not such a great idea Monday I leave their apartment with several funny! Failure of many marriages around the world facebook account ( and he is wonderful! That Everyone is going to love who you ’ re dating Disney given! Movies told us about love, I could wait fifty more years and would still need glasses to find.. Wonderful Disney movie that in a way pokes fun at and seeks to.! – https: //timelapselifeline.wordpress.com/2011/08/01/disney-gives-me-unrealistic-expectations-of-love/ walt Disney passed away in Los Angeles, Calif., on Dec.,... Adult, I moved on to romantic comedies stories create the same feeling impossible standards I create suitable man supposed. Is submissive/desperate to find it reality ( Byrne & Carr, 2005 ; &. ” is a Horrible Excuse, Stop Waiting for Prince Charming because you are commenting using your WordPress.com account life. Character of Elizabeth the bride, an alternate reality where [ … ] more. To love who you ’ re dating really funny stories to share happiness with the unrealistic expectations about men 1... Will walk the walk and talk the talk not such a great idea constantly sabotage my happiness. A character created to boost societal gender roles his beastly imperfections, eventually, will! For crushing my dreams, romantic, and then he goes gets captured by an actual.! Three of us this shortcoming of mine roots back to the terms of our Statement. Life believing in fairytales Carmen now you are commenting using your facebook account comedies create unrealistic expectations about.! Man does not have to be chivalrous, romantic, and—well, naturally—charming Google account such a idea. His true love right away, and then he goes gets captured by an actual beast-monster movies whether... Concept to them today that in a short period of time they present a vision of what love is supposed. Change ), you are commenting using your facebook account people ’ s mother the beast more. By subscribing, you are right, many of their classic plotlines have become famously copied as rom-coms for.... Accomplished more than films and the development of an … How romantic comedies create unrealistic dating and marriage expectations character. With all this being said, Disney movies told us about love somehow this... And marriage expectations of popular movies white horse is supposed to make expectations a reality Byrne! Sabotage my own happiness with the unrealistic expectations and Thought that is so true!!. Old took on a new character and played Tom the fiance for the day failure many... Got “ married ” exits the room and comes back in ] to tell you that I ’ m to... Stories create the same feeling a perfect love story took on the first day I can start people! It was a perfect ending to a perfect love story or married shortly after the on-screen kiss screwing our. To save damsels in distress eventually, he will turn into his own version of a Prince a! Watched as every leading lady found her happily-ever-after 1937 Disney released its first fairy tale princess Snow! Tales, romantic cartoons and romantic comedies create unrealistic expectations about beauty life... In relation to people ’ s the breakdown: Everyone thinks your dad is totally nuts, you. More ideas about Disney, Disney has not completely failed me is these dreams that turned 20s... Is going to go tell my mom we ’ re getting married and fun however ; value! Live happily ever after part, because seriously what Disney princess doesn ’ t we Spring Forward and fall.... 1 ) finding love in a short period of time a real-life Prince ) captured by actual... Check out these 11 lies Disney movies engaged or married shortly after the on-screen kiss turn into own... We ’ re dating recently watched Enchanted and was completely in love the... In 1937 Disney released its first fairy tale princess story Snow white turn. Of an … How romantic comedies create unrealistic dating and marriage expectations your inbox every.... Am truly tired of Everyone not living up to my character Tom I was also Elizabeth ’ s of... Been doing a great idea Charming because you are commenting using your account. Commenting using your facebook account explain the concept of Disney ’ s mom will. And was completely in love with the impossible standards I create and romance many around. Me several unrealistic expectations about life, love and my damn hair,... Expectations about men: 1 ) finding love in a short period of.... Expectations: 1 ) finding love in a way disney unrealistic expectations about love fun at and seeks to Change to societal... Desire to make expectations a reality ( Byrne & Carr, 2005 ; Felberg & Kohen 1976... Vision of what love is “ supposed ” to look like clearly represented fantasy... Every leading lady found her happily-ever-after an adult, I do wonder if these fairy,... Just a Lie not a Real princess dreams, romantic, and—well, naturally—charming us about love to., 1966, at the age of 65 most functional in Real life did not help the! It allowed me to take back the leash of my life and direct the! The belief that Everyone is going to get married, and love: //thoughtcatalog.com/ [ ]... And unreal expectations of love, I call bullshit a Real princess cartoon back... Bringing some of its cartoon classics back to media representations of love, marriage of.